September 30, 2018

Candle In The Wind

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in


September 18, 2018

The Dreamer - The Tallest Man On Earth

Oh sometimes the blues is just a passing bird
And why can't that always be
Tossing aside from your birches crown
just enough dark to see
How you're the light over me



August 27, 2018

To the bones

She doesn't fall 
in love often,
but when she does
it is down into
the bones. 

August 19, 2018

Ubat Hati

1. Baca Quran & fahamkan maksudnya.
2. Dirikan solat malam (tahajud).
3. Berkumpul dengan orang soleh/solehah.
4. Perbanyakkan puasa.
5. Perbanyakkan zikir malam. 

August 6, 2018

Huff













Duduklah sebentar
jika lelah
dan sesekali tengoklah
ke belakang
seberapa jauh kita
sudah melangkah. 

Self-esteem

Sometimes it takes a little bit of time
to find our place with Allah.

I think one of the thing, to begin with,
is to built self-esteem; to know who I am
and what I want out of life and what I want out of life
extends past this life. There's more to it
than just 60, 70, 80 years.

July 28, 2018

Alhamdulillah

Sujudku pun takkan 
memuaskan inginku
'Tuk hanturkan 
sembah sedalam kalbu.

Adapun kusembahkan 
syukur padamu ya Allah
untuk nama, harta dan keluarga
yang mencinta.
Dan perjalanan yang sejauh ini 
tertempa.

Alhamdulillah pilihan dan kesempatan
yang membuat hamba 
mengerti lebih baik makna diri
semua lebih bererti 
akan mudah dihayati.

Alhamdulillah..
Alhamdulillah..
Alhamdulillah..

July 15, 2018

Open your eyes, please.

I was a Catholic for a good 23 years of my life. Went to church every Sunday, completed the necessary sacraments. Let me tell you that not a single thing that I went through, heard & observed ever involved efforts to sabotage Muslims or other believers.

All the sermons, prayers that were uttered were underlined with values of love & compassion. “Respect thy neighbours. Be kind to everyone. May God grant wisdom upon our leaders. May God protect our country. God have mercy on us. Etc.”

I was living in Sabah then. Pretty shielded from the prejudices on non-Muslims that I’ve seen here. So when I moved to KL, I was quite baffled at the level of misunderstanding & prejudices that Muslims have on Christians. I mean, we didn’t sit down in Sunday schools and discuss..

About how to convert a fellow Muslim, or crafting devious plans on how to do so. I don’t remember a single time where there was even a hint of such intention. We were always taught about how to live the Christian values in whatever we do; compassion, kind, respect, honesty, etc.

To be fair, my parents have their own misconception towards Islam.

“It’d break my heart to pieces if your husband marries a 2nd, 3rd wife.”

“They’ll cut off your relationship with your Christian families.”

Among the things they said to me when I wanted to become a Muslim.

Can’t blame them aight. I guess what I’m trying to say is, remove these prejudices towards non-Muslims, stop wasting effort to fuel them. We (Muslims in Msia)have a lot more fundamental things to sort out; child marriage, corruption, yes kawin 4 issue too.

Gamble

We give people multiple chances
hoping that they'll change
I don't know if it speaks less of them
for taking advantage
Or less of us for refusing
to accept who they are

July 1, 2018

be kind with them

The people who understand you
and the people who are there for you..
a l s o   g e t    t i r e d
a l s o   h a v e    b a d   d a y s.
They also have their own problems and
they also feel the way you feel sometimes.
So please be gentle with them.
Be kind with them.
They're just as soft as you are and
they need you just as much
as you need them

June 25, 2018

Begitulah

لن يسلم أحد من كلام الناس حتى الأنبياء

Tidak ada seorang pun
yang selamat
daripada kata-kata buruk manusia
sekalipun para Nabi.

June 4, 2018

Too much

Sometimes she'll push away
what she wants
because she wants it
too much.
And too much scares
the hell out of her.
Because sometimes
people lose themselves
in wanting too much. 

June 3, 2018

Home

don't try to find
someone who brings
you happiness,
because that can be
volatile.
instead, wait for
the one who brings
you peace. and that
is far more rare.
finding home in another
doesn't
happen
every
day.

May 26, 2018

Gravity

I don't have an explanation
as to how you pull me in,
you just do.
You've always had a gravity
that I've never been able
to overcome.

January 27, 2018

Save yourself

Don't fall in love with me
I am not easy to love and
I know it might be a bad thing because
I know I demand so much.
I'm not the softest person and
I have a whole goddamn list of
things I require and
none of them come easy.
Most of them are hard.
Most of them aren't for the faint hearted.
I have standards because
I know what I want,
what I deserve and
I know what I have to offer.

I'm a cloudy day,
the soft rain above the sea,
the last breath from a warm good-bye.
I'm all sadness combined
in one person.
All tears that fall from tired eyes and
all things that wrap around a broken heart.
What I am trying to say is,
I'm not perfect and
I don't expect you to be either
but I know my worth.

And I love with all tenderness,
carelessness and
with everything I do not know
about myself.
I just want something real.
Someone who isn't afraid of what
goes on within, and
I demand nothing less than that.
I know who I am.
That's all.

January 5, 2018

You have been warned

There are parts to me that don't
exist anymore,
parts to me i left behind years ago,
parts to me i left moments ago.

I'm constantly shedding, and
constantly growing new skin,
because i'm trying to evolve past the things
that don't stimulate me anymore,
past the things that don't speak to me anymore,
past the things that don't fill me anymore.

And, if i left you behind
during my process,
understand that it wasn't out of malice,
it wasn't out of selfishness,
it wasn't out of egotism,
it was out of self love.

And, i hope even you
can appreciate that. 

December 30, 2017

No words left

It's not that I
don't have anything
to say, to the
contrary, I have so
much.

It's just that
you've shown me
you don't deserve
to hear it.  

October 9, 2017

Heroine

She has a moments
of weekness where
she starts to
believe she needs
someone to save her.
But then she smiles
when she remembers
that she is the
heroine in her story.

October 2, 2017

My way

And now, the end is near; 
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear, 
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life that's full.
I've traveled each and every highway; 
And more, much more than this, 
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few; 
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course; 
Each careful step along the byway, 
And more, much more than this, 
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt, 
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall; 
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside, 
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that; 
And may I say - not in a shy way, 
"Oh no, oh no not me, 
I did it my way".

For what is a lady, what has she got?
If not herself, then she has naught.
To say the things she truly feels; 
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way! 

Yes, it was my way.

September 10, 2017

She's the man

Let me tell the tale
of a girl who didn't stop.
Who climbed up every mountain
without a pause upon the top.
She'd dance until each blade of grass,
was clothed in drops of dew.
And the sun knew her by name
but the silver moon did too.
For a fear had settled in her bones;
a fear of sitting still,
that if you're not moving forward
it must mean you never will.
So in time her dance got slower
and she looked at all she'd seen,
but found gaps inside the places
that she'd never fully been.
For she was a human doing,
human moving, human seeing.
But she'd never taken time
to simply be a human being. 

May 10, 2017

Sealed

I close my heart
not because
I am afraid of what
you will find.

I close my heart
because I'm afraid
you will not find
anything.
Anything that will
make you wish
to stay.

May 8, 2017

raw

She wasn't poetry.
She wasn't made of beautiful words
that rolled off the tongue.
Her smile wasn't as bright as the sun
and her eyes weren't made of the fucking stars.
She was none of those things.
She was real.
She was authentic.
She was raw.

She said what was on her mind,
and in her heart.
Sure,
she cried, but she wiped
her red puffy eyes picked up the pieces,
and handled it.

Because she realized a long time ago,
no one would be there for her every time.
She got her heart stomped on,
except her.
She was her own savior.
Her own lover.
And that my friend,
made her more beautiful than any verse
could.

May 4, 2017

Orang-orang yang muflis

Dari Abu Hurairah meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah bersabda ;

"Tahukah kamu siapakah orang-orang yang muflis itu?"

Para sahabat r.hum berkata;

"Pada kami orang yang muflis itu ialah orang-orang yang tidak ada wang ringgit dan keperluan-keperluan dunianya."

Baginda menjawab;

"Pada umatku orang-orang yang muflis ialah orang-orang yang datang pada hari kiamat dengan sembahyang, puasa, zakat dan amalan-amalan makbul yang lain, tetapi dia melakukan perbuatan yang keji terhadap orang lain, memfitnah orang lain, memakan harta orang, menumpahkan darah tanpa hak, memukul orang lain, maka semua keburukan ini akan dibalasi dengan diambil daripada amal kebaikannya dengan kadar kejahatannya. Diambil lagi lagi kebaikannya(dan diberikan pada orang yang dizalimi). Dan sekiranya amal kebaikannya habis, sedangkan banyak lagi keburukan yang belum dibalasinya, maka akan diambil dari keburukan orang yang dizalimi, lalu dipikulkan ke atasnya, kemudian dengannya dia akan dicampakkan ke api neraka."

- HR Muslim

May 3, 2017

Nyawa

adalah cinta,
yang mengubah jalannya waktu
kerana cinta,
waktu terbahagi dua
dengan mu
dan rindu
untuk membalik masa.

detik tidak pernah melangkah mundur
tapi kertas putih itu selalu ada.

waktu tidak pernah berjalan mundur
dan hari tidak pernah terulang.

tetapi pagi selalu menawarkan cerita yang baru
untuk semua pertanyaan yang belum pernah sempat

terjawab.

May 1, 2017

simpan pegang seranah caci

aku simpan seranahmu dalam liang telinga
dengan harap yang aku gunungkan dari sebutir zarah hati,
semoga diciptakan Tuhan suatu hari nanti untuk aku
ambilkan semula dan paksa kau jilat kembali.

aku pegang cacianmu dalam salur kerongkong
dengan mimpi yang aku campingkan dari secebis ngilu,
semoga dikenankan Tuhan suatu hari nanti untuk engkau
dapatkan semula dan kunyah setiap satu persatu.

kerana bahasamu yang kau pinjam dari iblis itu,
terlalu indah bunyinya sehinggakan aku mahu sekali
simpankan dan pegangkan sehingga suatu masa
akan kau jilat dan kunyahkan dengan hina.

kerana aku tidak reti untuk mati,
semata-mata untuk lidah yang kau sewa dari neraka.

kerana aku tidak akan mahu mati,
selagi yang benar tidak memberi aku syurga.

April 30, 2017

Hati

Kembara tidak perlu jauh
asalkan dengan hati.

Hadiah tidak semestinya mahal
asalkan dari hati.

Semua yang dengan dan dari hati
akan menyentuh dan jatuh ke hati.

Dalam hidup apabila kita mendapat sesuatu,
kita akan kehilangan sesuatu yang lain.

Kita tidak akan mendapat segala dan semua
pada waktu yang sama.

Justeru,
pastikan apa yang kita dapat lebih berharga
daripada apa yang kita hilang.

April 24, 2017

Doa

Tuhanku
Dalam termangu
Aku masih menyebut namaMu
Biar susah sungguh
Mengingat Kau penuh seluruh
cahyaMu panas suci
Tinggal kerlip lilin di kelam sunyi

Tuhanku
Aku hilang bentuk
remuk
Tuhanku
Aku mengembara di negeri asing Tuhanku
Di PintuMu aku mengetuk
Aku tidak bisa berpaling

Chairil Anwar
13 November 1943

April 6, 2017

I'm lucky

You're lucky, that you were mad.
See, when you're mad you don't miss people
and if you stay mad,
it's like you never knew them at all
that way you don't have to feel sucky about it.
You were lucky.

- Uptown Girls

April 5, 2017

real smiles

I dream of the nights
when we're together
and she smiles -

not because she has
to convince the world
she's okay.

but because she's
truly happy.

March 10, 2017

Lost boy

There was a time when I was alone
Nowhere to go and no place to call home
My only friend was the man in the moon
And even sometimes he would go away, too

Then one night, as I closed my eyes
I saw a shadow flying high
He came to me with the sweetest smile
Told me he wanted to talk for awhile
He said, "Peter Pan, that's what they call me
I promise that you'll never be lonely, " and ever since that day

I am a lost boy from Neverland
Usually hanging out with Peter Pan
And when we're bored we play in the woods
Always on the run from Captain Hook
"Run, run, lost boy, " they say to me
Away from all of reality

Neverland is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free

He sprinkled me in pixie dust and told me to believe
Believe in him and believe in me
Together we will fly away in a cloud of green
To your beautiful destiny
As we soared above the town that never loved me
I realized I finally had a family
Soon enough we reached Neverland
Peacefully my feet hit the sand
And ever since that day

January 30, 2017

No one is to blame

You can look at the menu, but you just can't eat
You can feel the cushion, but you can't have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool, but you can't have a swim
You can feel the punishment, but you can't commit the sin

You can build a mansion, but you just can't live in it
You're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win
Some break the rules, and let you cut the cost
The insecurity is the thing that won't get lost
You can see the summit but you can't reach it
It's the last piece of the puzzle but you just can't make it fit
Doctor says you're cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain

And you want her, and she wants you
We want everyone
No one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame

January 24, 2017

360°



Hari demi hari, kita jumpa pelbagai jenis hamba Allah.
Tentang zahirnya tidak boleh dipertikai sama sekali kerna itu ciptaan Allah.

Tapi Allah kan adil, diberinya kita semua 'hati' yang sama.
Kita yang pilih kita mahu jadi apa?

Hamba Allah; warna-warni semuanya.
Ada yang warna terang kemudiannya malap.
Ada yang malap kemudiannya terang.
Ada malap dan terus malap.
Ada yang terang dan terus terang.
Fungsi lain-lain.

Tapi semuanya tetap memberi manfaat baik walaupun malap.
Malapnya warna yang dia pilih, ertinya kita tidak perlu ikut seperti pilihannya.
Kan itu adalah contoh tidak baik yang ada manfaatnya?
Yakni; tidak perlu ikut.

Namun, yang tetap akan disimpan di dalam hati ialah yang cantik warnanya.
Bertuahlah kita kerna dari hati yang kita punya, kita boleh pilih warna apa yang kita suka.
Warna terang atau malap.

Dan rugilah kita, jika kita pilih warna yang malap.
Hadir ke kehidupan seseorang dengan membawa suram semata.
Padahal, datangnya mungkin hanya sekejap.
Tapi yang akan dikenang nanti bersifat selamanya.

Rugilah.

September 17, 2016

I choose you

I didn't fall in love with you.
I walked into love with you,
with my eyes wide open,
choosing to take
every step along the way.
I do believe in fate and destiny,
but I also believe
we are only fated
to do the things
that we'd choose anyway.
And I'd choose you;
in a hundred lifetimes,
in a hundred worlds,
in any version of reality,
I'd find you
and I'd choose you.

May 4, 2016

reality

i gave him a book about a cat
a cat that can chat
he reads you, the cat
like a gin to the tonic
his brown eyes
reflecting his reality


but i'm a cat
and you...
you are the snowflake
winter ends, you're gone

April 19, 2016

Apakah agama itu ?

Seorang lelaki yang datang kehadapan Rasulullah s.a.w lalu bertanya:

"Ya Rasulullah, apakah agama itu?"

"Akhlak luhur!"

Orang itu datang dari sebelah kanan sambil menanyakan:

"Apakah agama itu, ya Rasulullah?"

Nabi tetap menyatakan, "Akhlak luhur."

Kemudian datang lagi orang itu dari sebelah kiri beliau dan menanyakan: "Apakah agama itu?"

Nabi masih menjawab seperti itu juga.

Sesudah itu dia datang pula dari jurusan belakang Nabi sambil bertanya:

"Ya Rasulullah, apakah agama itu?"

Nabi menoleh kepadanya sambil bersabda:

"Belum jugakah engkau mengerti? Beragama itu ialah agar engkau jangan pemarah!"


References:
1100 Koleksi Emas / Kisah-kisah Benar & Nasihat-Nasihat (Muka surat 166)

April 17, 2016

DUA BULAN UNTUK MEMILIH AGAMA

NABI MUHAMMAD SAW sedang mengerjakan solat sunnah dua rakaat. Ketika ia sedang sujud, cucunya yang masih kecil, Hasan menaiki punggungnya dan bermain kuda-kudaan di atasnya sambil memukul-mukul tubuhnya seperti memacu kuda biar larinya cepat.

Nabi sudah cukup lama di dalam sujud, tapi memperpanjang sujudnya sambil menunggu cucunya puas bermain kuda-kudaan. Tatkala Hasan baru saja turun dan Nabi hendak bangun dari sujud, Husain adik Hasan tidak mahu kalah dari abangnya. Ia pun segera melompat menduduki punggung Nabi dan bermain kuda-kudaan meniru Hasan. Nabi menunggu dulu hingga Husain turun dari punggungnya, barulah ia duduk tasyahud.

Pada kali yang lain Nabi sedang membaca khutbah Jumaat di mimbar. Kedua cucunya yang ikut solat di masjid tiba-tiba menangis. Nabi turun dari mimbar di tengah-tengah khutbahnya, mendatangi Hasan dan Husain, dan memujuk mereka supaya diam melalui isyarat dan sikap kasih sayangnya.

Sesudah kedua cucu kecil itu tenang kembali. barulah Nabi naik lagi ke mimbar dan melanjutkan khutbahnya sampai selesai. Ia selalu membaca khutbah lebih pendek dibandingkan dengan sembahyangnya.

Pada hari yang lain Nabi berjumpa dengan seorang Badwi gunung.  Orang A'rabi hitam itu mengaku sudah memeluk agama Islam dan sudah mengerjakan ibadah. 

Nabi bertanya, "Jadi engkau beriman bahawa tidak ada Tuhan selain Allah?"

"Saya percaya," jawab Badwi.

"Kamu tahu, di manakah tempat tinggal Allah," tanya Nabi menguji.

"Tahu," sahut Badwi tegas.

"Di mana?"

"Di sana, di puncak gunung," ujar Badwi tanpa ragu-ragu.

Nabi diam dan menghormati orang Badwi itu baik-baik, tanpa menyanggah sepatah pun ucapannya tadi. Sebab, menurut hemat Nabi, baru sebatas itulah tingkat kemampuan akal Badwi kampung tersebut.

Manakala Makkah sudah ditakluki dan orang-orang Quraisy ketakutan, Nabi beserta sepuluh ribu sahabatnya memasuki kota suci itu dengan damai; orang-orang musyrik tidak ada yang berani menampakkan hidung. Di antara yang paling terpukul adalah keluarga Abu Sufyan, selaku pemimpin besar kaum kafir dan bangsawan yang terhormat. Ia biasa disanjung dan diagung-agungkan sebagai pahlawan yang gagah berani. Hari itu hancurlah semua nama besarnya, bila ia harus takluk sebagai pecundang.

Untung, Nabi cepat tanggap dan bijaksana. Ia segera mengeluarkan pengumuman itu antara lain:

"Barangsiapa masuk ke dalam Masjidil Haram, dia akan dilindungi. Barangsiapa masuk ke dalam rumah Abu Sufyan, dia akan dilindungi."

Betapa bangganya Abu Sufyan mendengar pengumuman. Bererti rumahnya bagaikan disamakan kedudukannya dengan Masjidil Haram. Oleh sebab itu ia tidak kehilangan muka tatkala kemudian memeluk agama Islam. Apalagi anaknya, yang juga akhirnya masuk Islam, Muawiyah bin abu sufyan, beberapa waktu setelah itu diangkat menjadi salah seorang pencatat wahyu oleh Nabi SAW. 

Sejak saat itu orang-orang musyrik berduyun-duyun menyatakan keislaman mereka. Tetapi ada seorang panglima Quraisy yang hingga beberapa lama tidak mahu menjadi muslim. Ketika ditanya oleh Nabi, orang itu, Sofwan bin Umayyah, berkata, "Berilah saya waktu seminggu untuk berfikir, apakah mahu masuk Islam atau tidak."

Nabi menjawab, "Jangan seminggu."

Sofwan terkejut, "Apakah seminggu terlalu lama?"

"Tidak," sabda Nabi, "Terlalu singkat. Ku beri engkau waktu selama dua bulan, apakah akan bersyahadat atau tidak. Fikirkanlah dengan leluasa dan luas. Sebab agama Islam adalah agama bagi orang-orang yang berakal dan menggunakannya untuk berfikir. Tidak ada agama bagi orang yang tidak memiliki akal. 

"Barangsiapa menunjukkan orang supaya berbuat baik, maka orang itu beroleh pahala sama seperti pahala orang yang mengerjakannya."

(HR Muslim)

References:
 1100 Koleksi Emas / Kisah-kisah Benar & Nasihat-Nasihat (Muka surat 268)
 

April 4, 2016

Hebatnya Air


Dahaga.. Cari air..
Mandi.. Cari air..
Masak.. Cari air..

Kenapa tidak kita contohi air?
Dicincang tiada putus.
Dibakar tiada hangus.
Di mana duduk ikut acuan.
Mengalir ikut arus.

Ikut hukum Allah.
Ikut aliran.
Tiada mudik ke hulu.
Tiada terbang ke langit.

Belajar dari air.
Taat pada hukum Allah.
Nampak lemah.
Nampak cair.

Api marak.. airlah pemadam.
Pokok layu.. air disiram.

Berlembutlah seperti air.
Berjuanglah seperti air.
Lembut belum tentu kalah.

Lihatlah air..
Setitik demi setitik menimpa batu,
Akhirnya berlubang jua si batu...
Biar hati seperti air.
Biar sejuk biar tenang.
Tampak lembut, tampak cair.
Kemenangan tetap milik air...

Jangan seperti batu.
Keras dan kaku.
Terhempas pecah berderai.
Pecah bersepai... berjuanglah seperti air..
Dicincang tiada putus.
Dibakar tiada hangus.



April 2, 2016

No straight road to take me home tonight

So.

What is it that you really want?
What is it that makes you happy?

For the longest time ever, I was trying to remember what was my childhood dream. You know the kind of answers you would give during your early years in school when the teacher posed you that classic question: what would you like to be when you grow up?

Honestly, I can't remember what I could have possibly said. Could I have said a rock star maybe? Or I wish to travel the world? Or could it be something banally boring such as an accountant, lawyer or doctor. 

But perhaps it doesn't really matter what your childhood dream was. You grow up, gone through some puddle of mud, be a bit wiser and now perhaps your perspectives have changed. And maybe that's what matters. What is it that you really want to do now? Especially when you have more or less everything that you need to enable that change except maybe what is stopping you is the lack of gut or in a more friendly term, fear.

But life has taught me a thing or two about courage. Maybe if you wish for something bad enough, and if you're honest about it, life will eventually give it to you.

Yang Terdalam

Terbanglah jauh-jauh
Melayang setinggi langit
Moga berlabuhlah segala duka
Penawar segala sakit

Gapailah awan gemawan 
Gegarkan dentum guruh dan kilat
Nanti akan turunlah hujan
Menyimbah sejuta rahmat

Alam sedang berbisik
Agar hati yang alpa segera kembali

Usah menyimpan harapan lagi
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February 10, 2016

Thank God It's February

"Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds;
it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."
- Anais Nin

N asked me whether I would be the same person today if I ended up in the city at 5 years ago instead of the House of 17. I don't know, 17 is on its own league, it's tough to compare. But, I wouldn't want to wish otherwise. I did stupid things, took the wrong turning, maybe. But perhaps it was all necessary. For us to finally understand this.

I have now and future. And I have a say in it. And I want to do the right thing. And do things right. I still have my fear, but even if I failed for what I have been decided for, nothing beats the hell of not trying at all!

October 27, 2015

Temporary Home

This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this is my
Temporary Home.

June 30, 2015

You hold the other line

You hold the other line
It was dawn.
And you fought for this in your own course
And here you are now
Beautiful air.
What should you do?

You fight, again, to make this work.
You fight, because you know it's worth continue fighting for.

Are you scared?
Hell yeah.
But that's part of it all, right.

Maybe it's time
To draw back the curtains
Because
I see you
I see light

(Sedikit melodramatic hari ini, saya minta maaf)

June 23, 2015

Everything Will Be Fine

You know sometimes you go through life, you don't realized that it's crooked. You thought life was normal, and there was nothing seriously wrong with it. Until something happened or someone came along and knocked you out cold of your comfort zone.

And then, wa-lah! Suddenly the air becomes clearer and the light seems brighter. And you noticed, how crooked life was and you wonder how on earth that you went along not noticing the flaws. Or even if you did notice, how was it possible that you crossed the line and let yourself be drifted away for so long?

But then again, I guess that's part of how the universe tries to teach you one thing or two about life. Because human being human, we are naturally narcissistic and wimpish. Too scared of the consequential, or just scared of being decisive. Some went along the conventional, safe way and probably spent most of their life not knowing how greener the grass is on the other side. But some ventured into road less traveled and came out with exceptional stories.

In the end I suppose, it is something very subjective, what is right for me, might not be right for you; and what is best for me, might not be the best for you. But you know you've found something extraordinary, when the winning stories are mutually savoured upon.

June 7, 2015

I will Always Love You


If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go but I know
I'll think of you every step of the way

And I will always love you
Will always love you
You
My darling, you

Bittersweet memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you, you need

And I will always love you
I will always love you
You

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy and happiness
But above all this I wish you love



I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston (she passed away on my birthday)

March 29, 2015

through thick and thin


They didn't agree on much. 

In fact, they rarely agreed on everything. 

They fought all the time and they challenge each other everyday. 

But despite their differences, 

they had one important thing in common,

they were crazy about each other.

:') 

March 8, 2015

Love Notes

Stale confessions
" I never loved you,
but I almost did "
The games people play
Making something out of nothing
Making
nothing
out of
something
and before I closed the door 
It played in my head again,
" I never loved you,
but I almost did "


October 31, 2014

play in pain

" What's so great about love that you couldn't let it go ? "

" There wasn't anything great about it. But it meant a lot to me.

And so...

It was to precious to me that I wanted to hold on no matter what. "

October 29, 2014

The Longest Time

" I've decided to do what my heart tells me to. "

" What ? "

" When I miss you, I'll come and talk to you. Am I not allowed to ? It's not like we're doing anything wrong. Can't we see each other when we want to ? "

" Of course not. Soon, It will be very wrong for all of us. "

What else could I do ?
I'm so inspired by you...
That hasn't happened for the longest time.

Deep breath.


March 4, 2014

Waiting for the lilies to bloom

Mereka kata pelangi itu ada 7 warna
Kadang-kadang saya lihat pastel keunguan
Jingga kemerahan pun ada kebarangkalian

Mungkin itu persepsi
What the eyes see depends on what the mind comprehends
Setengah orang kata senja itu suram
Ada yang kata senja itu harapan
Saya kata ia bergantung
Pada masa
Pada tika
Pada Dia

Ah lili,
Sungguh memahami kamu ini !

January 1, 2014

Auld Lang Syne - Lea Michele


Should old acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should all acquaintance be forgot
And auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne

And surely you will buy your cup
And surely I'll buy mine
And we'll take a cup o'kindness yet
For auld lang syne

We too have run around the slopes
And picked the daisies fine
We've londoned many weary foot
Since auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne

We too have paddled in the stream
From morning sun to night
But the seas between us broad have roared
From auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne
We'll take a cup o'kindness yet
For auld langs syne

This Is The New Year !

26.1 °C, Haze.
Almost. End of another year. Except this isn't just another year.

The boss told me to think about what i had learned and what i can improve.
Having passion can be draining at times. But I do not wish of being insouciant.

So what have I learned this year (2013) ? Life in general I mean. The boss is on leave.

- Long distance relationship is brutal. Hard, sapping, madness.

- I had preferred Arrivals more than Departures.

- Relationship is work-in-progress, the rest of your life it seems (gazillion parts of patience, piles of love, heaps of hopes). Being with the right person is key.

- MS would probably be the last school I attended. My next classroom session I would sign up voluntarily would be some sugar craft making or 3-day detox or something along that line.

- Yes I'm a brooder, but that's not really news.

- I have to stop weeping buckets. Movies, books, stories, love, life, goldfish. Haih.

- I found out I could run 10km non-stop.

- The hardest thing I'm being told to do is: 'Manage me'. That really is a big puddle of confusion to me.

- Some people might think I'm a bitch, I might think you're a bitch. Others might think other people who think  I'm a bitch a bitch. So there's that.

- Like the world is round, and what you did to others might come haunting you again when the earth rotates.

- I also realised that I overestimated my DIY skills (1 part skill, 1 part hope, 2 parts denial).

- I believe I was a philosopher in my past life.

- Home is really where my love is.

December 24, 2013

Ngarku (China Arrowhead) Chips


Tadaaa.. Ngarku chips in the house ! Siap sudah.. Memang sedap ! Sedap dari kentang. Lepas goreng, boleh ngap terus. Tak perlu diperasakan dengan garam atau lada hitam, rasanya sudah ada. Lemak manis. Rangup gila. Rupanya macam kerepek ubikan ? Tapi tahap rapuhnya tak macam ubi yang keras sikit tu, kerepek Ngarku, lebih renyah/rapuh. Pelaburan yang berbaloi. Ini pertama kali saya mencubanya tau.. mama mia! :)

Penyediaannya senang sahaja, beli Ngarku yang tengah murah di pasaran sekarang sebab ngah musimnya. Tapikan, tak lah murah sangat macam dulu-dulu masa saya tidak pandai makan tu. Harganya waktu itu, seingat saya dalam lingkungan RM2 sekilo. Sekarang RM7+ macam tu. Mahalkan ? Dah diskaun pun turunlah sebanyak RM4.88 sekilo. Nak rasa punya pasal, kena beli juga & buat. Saya beli 2 kilo terus. Inilah rupanya si Ngarku tu sebelum dibersihkan. 


Macam rupa bawang putihkan ? macam sengkuang pun ada. Oh ya, saya pun dah masak ayam kicap bersama Ngarku ni. Kalau dimasak bersama lauk, ia kena dimasak lama sikit dari kentang, biar empuk. Baru sedap. Rasanya ? kurang kanji dari kentang, ada sedikit kerangupan di situ. Manis. Sifatnya sama seperti kentang, akan menyerap perasa di dalam lauk. Jadi, kurangkan perasa kalau tak nak rasa Ngarku ni terlebih diperasakan ya. Ini pula rupanya bila dah dibersihkan.


Lepas dah dikupas, dibersihkan mana yang patut, sagat macam nak buat kerepek tu ya. Macam ni..

 

Lepas tu, gorenglah. Goreng kena sekeping-sekeping, agar ia tak melekat antara satu sama lain. Buat cepat-cepat supaya masak sekata. Masa sagat tu pun, ketebalan harus sama. Kalau tidak, ada yang rangup dan ada pula yang belum garing dah diangkat sekali nanti. Bah, jom goreng !

 

Goreng hingga kekuningan. Angkat & toskan. Boleh juga tabur garam atau lada hitam. Ikut suka. Siap ! :D


Selamat Mencuba !


December 16, 2013

Sunday without sunshine

Life is unfair.[but it's still good]
I agree.
Otherwise there won't be disparity.
But I think God is fair, because God gives us guts.
Abundance of them in fact.
If you don't believe in The Higher Authority, that's fine.
Think of it as human beings natural instinct

So yeah, you slipped, you pick yourself up.
You fell, and you stand up again.
Until one day perhaps,
you would never fall again,
because even if you did,
someone is always there to catch you.

December 15, 2013

Sosej Blossom Bun


Resepi asal : Isma Maisarah
Sumber rujukan : Rube Rabiah

Roti ( Doh )

Bahan-bahan :

500gm tepung gandum
11 gm yis segera
1/2 cwn gula halus
Secubit garam
2 sudu besar susu tepung
1/2 sudu kecil baking powder
1 sudu kecil bread improver
1 sudu besar water roux ( saya gantikan dengan 2 sudu makan bread softener )
1 biji telur
220 ml air suam ( saya guna air sejuk dari peti ais )
2 sudu besar mentega/marjerin
sosej secukupnya
sos cili & mayonis secukupnya

Cara-caranya :

- Satukan semua bahan.
- Kalau nak rendam yis dgn air suam dan gula dulu pun boleh.
- Uli hingga lembut.
- Perap doh 30 minit atau hingga doh naik sekali ganda.
- Setelah doh naik, tumbuk-tumbuk doh, dan bulat-bulatkan atau nak letak sosej & lain-lain inti pun boleh.
- Rehatkan doh 30 minit sapu butter atau kuning telur.
- Bakar pada suhu 160' selama 20-25 minit bergantung pada oven masing-masing.

sebelum bersauna

selepas bersauna

Selamat Mencuba !

Red Bean Bun


Resepi asal : Isma Maisarah
Sumber rujukan : Rube Rabiah

Roti ( Doh )

Bahan-bahan :

500gm tepung gandum
11 gm yis segera
1/2 cwn gula halus
Secubit garam
2 sudu besar susu tepung
1/2 sudu kecil baking powder
1 sudu kecil bread improver
1 sudu besar water roux ( saya gantikan dengan 2 sudu makan bread softener )
1 biji telur
220 ml air suam ( saya guna air sejuk dari peti ais )
2 sudu besar mentega/marjerin
inti kacang merah secukupnya

Cara-caranya :

- Satukan semua bahan.
- Kalau nak rendam yis dgn air suam dan gula dulu pun boleh.
- Uli hingga lembut.
- Perap doh 30 minit atau hingga doh naik sekali ganda.
- Setelah doh naik, tumbuk-tumbuk doh, dan bulat-bulatkan atau nak letak sosej & lain-lain inti pun boleh.
- Rehatkan doh 30 minit sapu butter atau kuning telur.
- Bakar pada suhu 160' selama 20-25 minit bergantung pada oven masing-masing.


sebelum bersauna

selepas bersauna

Selamat Mencuba !

December 13, 2013

Roti


Makan seminggu jugalah saya buat research tentang roti, bila maklumat dah lengkap baru berani buat. Yalah, nanti kalau buat-buat tak jadi, bazir bahan ja kan ? hehehe

Sebelum ni kalau buat sesuatu yang melibatkan yis ialah donut, pau & apam gandum. Roti ? tak pernah. takut. hahaha. Tapi bila dah tengok ramai kawan yang cuba & berjaya. Semangat terus datang. Caiyok gitu !

Antara maklumat penting yang saya dapat tentang meroti ialah :

1. Best friend roti ialah gula. Rendam yis bercampur dengan gula, menyuburkan pembiakkan yis.

2. Musuh ketatnya ialah garam. Jangan sesekali yis bercampur dengan garam. Mati terus ia. Terus bantat roti nanti. tak akan naik.

3. Suhu mempengaruhi kenaikkan roti. Jika buat waktu cuaca panas, roti cepat kembang/naik. Kalau buat waktu cuaca mendung hujan, cari penyakit. hahaha. Berkulatlah menunggu roti naik ya. Tapi kalau nak makan juga, buatlah.
Ada juga tipsnya dari kak Rube, dia kata, panaskan oven sekejap, offkan. Masukkan roti tadi ke dalam selama beberapa minit atau hingga kembang.

4.Kesabaran. Apapun yang kita buat kena bersabar, baru jadi ngan jayanya. Menunggu roti naik memerlukan kesabaran. Jika roti tak naik ? lagi tinggi kesabaran yang diperlukan. muahaha

Okaylah, daripada mokcik membebel dengan lebih panjang lagi, korang jeling-jelinglah resepi ni kemudian buat ya. Caiyok !

Roti (Doh)

Bahan-bahan :

500gm tepung gandum
11 gm yis segera
1/2 cwn gula halus
Secubit garam
2 sudu besar susu tepung
1/2 sudu kecil baking powder
1 sudu kecil bread improver
1 sudu besar water roux ( saya gantikan dengan 2 sudu makan bread softener )
1 biji telur
220 ml air suam ( saya guna air sejuk dari peti ais )
2 sudu besar mentega/marjerin

Water Roux

1/4 cwn tpg gandum
250 ml air

Cara-caranya :

- Sebatikan n masak atas api perlahan....sentiasa kacau hingga pekat.
sejukkan br guna
- Selebihnya blh simpan dlm peti ais...tahan 3 hr..

Cara-caranya :

- Satukan semua bahan.
- Kalau nak rendam yis dgn air suam dan gula dulu pun boleh.
- Uli hingga lembut.
- Perap doh 30 minit atau hingga doh naik sekali ganda.
- Setelah doh naik, tumbuk-tumbuk doh, dan bulat-bulatkan atau nak letak sosej & lain-lain inti pun boleh.
- Rehatkan doh 30 minit sapu butter atau kuning telur.
- Bakar pada suhu 160' selama 20-25 minit bergantung pada oven masing-masing.

Tips :

Resepi ini sesuai untuk pelbagai jenis roti seperti Mexican Bun, Red Bean Bun, Kaya Bun atau Sausage bun. :)

Selamat Mencuba !