January 27, 2018

Save yourself

Don't fall in love with me
I am not easy to love and
I know it might be a bad thing because
I know I demand so much.
I'm not the softest person and
I have a whole goddamn list of
things I require and
none of them come easy.
Most of them are hard.
Most of them aren't for the faint hearted.
I have standards because
I know what I want,
what I deserve and
I know what I have to offer.

I'm a cloudy day,
the soft rain above the sea,
the last breath from a warm good-bye.
I'm all sadness combined
in one person.
All tears that fall from tired eyes and
all things that wrap around a broken heart.
What I am trying to say is,
I'm not perfect and
I don't expect you to be either
but I know my worth.

And I love with all tenderness,
carelessness and
with everything I do not know
about myself.
I just want something real.
Someone who isn't afraid of what
goes on within, and
I demand nothing less than that.
I know who I am.
That's all.

January 5, 2018

You have been warned

There are parts to me that don't
exist anymore,
parts to me i left behind years ago,
parts to me i left moments ago.

I'm constantly shedding, and
constantly growing new skin,
because i'm trying to evolve past the things
that don't stimulate me anymore,
past the things that don't speak to me anymore,
past the things that don't fill me anymore.

And, if i left you behind
during my process,
understand that it wasn't out of malice,
it wasn't out of selfishness,
it wasn't out of egotism,
it was out of self love.

And, i hope even you
can appreciate that. 

December 30, 2017

No words left

It's not that I
don't have anything
to say, to the
contrary, I have so

It's just that
you've shown me
you don't deserve
to hear it.  

October 9, 2017


She has a moments
of weekness where
she starts to
believe she needs
someone to save her.
But then she smiles
when she remembers
that she is the
heroine in her story.

October 2, 2017

My way

And now, the end is near; 
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear, 
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life that's full.
I've traveled each and every highway; 
And more, much more than this, 
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few; 
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course; 
Each careful step along the byway, 
And more, much more than this, 
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt, 
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall; 
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside, 
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that; 
And may I say - not in a shy way, 
"Oh no, oh no not me, 
I did it my way".

For what is a lady, what has she got?
If not herself, then she has naught.
To say the things she truly feels; 
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way! 

Yes, it was my way.

September 10, 2017

She's the man

Let me tell the tale
of a girl who didn't stop.
Who climbed up every mountain
without a pause upon the top.
She'd dance until each blade of grass,
was clothed in drops of dew.
And the sun knew her by name
but the silver moon did too.
For a fear had settled in her bones;
a fear of sitting still,
that if you're not moving forward
it must mean you never will.
So in time her dance got slower
and she looked at all she'd seen,
but found gaps inside the places
that she'd never fully been.
For she was a human doing,
human moving, human seeing.
But she'd never taken time
to simply be a human being. 

May 10, 2017


I close my heart
not because
I am afraid of what
you will find.

I close my heart
because I'm afraid
you will not find
Anything that will
make you wish
to stay.

May 8, 2017


She wasn't poetry.
She wasn't made of beautiful words
that rolled off the tongue.
Her smile wasn't as bright as the sun
and her eyes weren't made of the fucking stars.
She was none of those things.
She was real.
She was authentic.
She was raw.

She said what was on her mind,
and in her heart.
she cried, but she wiped
her red puffy eyes picked up the pieces,
and handled it.

Because she realized a long time ago,
no one would be there for her every time.
She got her heart stomped on,
except her.
She was her own savior.
Her own lover.
And that my friend,
made her more beautiful than any verse

May 4, 2017

Orang-orang yang muflis

Dari Abu Hurairah meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah bersabda ;

"Tahukah kamu siapakah orang-orang yang muflis itu?"

Para sahabat r.hum berkata;

"Pada kami orang yang muflis itu ialah orang-orang yang tidak ada wang ringgit dan keperluan-keperluan dunianya."

Baginda menjawab;

"Pada umatku orang-orang yang muflis ialah orang-orang yang datang pada hari kiamat dengan sembahyang, puasa, zakat dan amalan-amalan makbul yang lain, tetapi dia melakukan perbuatan yang keji terhadap orang lain, memfitnah orang lain, memakan harta orang, menumpahkan darah tanpa hak, memukul orang lain, maka semua keburukan ini akan dibalasi dengan diambil daripada amal kebaikannya dengan kadar kejahatannya. Diambil lagi lagi kebaikannya(dan diberikan pada orang yang dizalimi). Dan sekiranya amal kebaikannya habis, sedangkan banyak lagi keburukan yang belum dibalasinya, maka akan diambil dari keburukan orang yang dizalimi, lalu dipikulkan ke atasnya, kemudian dengannya dia akan dicampakkan ke api neraka."

- HR Muslim

May 3, 2017


adalah cinta,
yang mengubah jalannya waktu
kerana cinta,
waktu terbahagi dua
dengan mu
dan rindu
untuk membalik masa.

detik tidak pernah melangkah mundur
tapi kertas putih itu selalu ada.

waktu tidak pernah berjalan mundur
dan hari tidak pernah terulang.

tetapi pagi selalu menawarkan cerita yang baru
untuk semua pertanyaan yang belum pernah sempat